On the first day of the new year, it feels appropriate to reflect. 2024 felt mostly like a blur with some moments of clarity, and joy. Deaths of friends and people known and networked together felt like a terrible rhythm of 2024. Grief wakes up grief; my year was fairly discombobulated.
It was an unexpected path to become friends with Fa’anānā Efeso Collins. Whilst we had crossed paths through Ōtara and local government, it wasn’t until 2022 that I got to know his charismatic leadership, wicked humour and heart for his family, for service and communities here in South Auckland. Committing time, energy and love into his campaign and pathway to Parliament was a journey of learning, and faith. On the day before his maiden speech, my daughter and I made a pilgrimage to the capital, reflecting all the way on this momentous, unbelievable thing: to see a friend reach such an important career high, and take his whole community with him.
Efeso’s tragic and untimely death less than a week later took the wind out of so many people. The pain and grief for his closest family, his beloved wife and daughters, is still simply inconceivable. The loss of him, his drive and strategic brain, his intellect, cultural literacy and oratory prowess, is part of the grief for Efeso, but it was also so tragically the loss of his potential and the contribution he was primed to make for New Zealand politics and society. He was a shining light, a portal.
The grief for Efeso felt like a flood. I caught Covid in the flood, and then a few weeks later, my dear friend Yolande Ah Chong lost her battle with cancer. Being able to say good bye to Yolande in hospice care felt like a gift, but the grief and deep sadness was still overwhelming.
Efeso and Yolande were both amazing supporters of my work; Yolande and I had worked together since 2010 and through every one of Vunilagi Vou’s shapeshifts, she made time to visit, listen, advocate and amplify in whatever way she could. But in the case of both Efeso and Yolande, what they gave me over our friendships was the privilege to know their fierce intellects, and capacities for deep and powerful analysis and cutting critique.
Other untimely deaths in the following months; Sam Morrison in May, Reina Sutton in July – both artists who served with their whole hearts. Our creative communities felt and heaved in love with the weight of their lives and the pain of their deaths; too short, too tragic.
In these waves of sadness, tears and tragedy, two exhibitions were staged in 2024. To Live + Die in South Auckland at Fresh Gallery Ōtara in May-June and Solesolevaki at Tautai Gallery in October-November. One felt like an ending, and the latter like a beginning. Studying towards a Master of Applied Indigenous Knowledge degree has helped me move through my awkward dance with the ‘art world’ and the opportunity to make an exhibition for Tautai enabled me to flex some new thinking. I really loved discussing the show with Pacific Media Network reporter, Atutahi Potaka-Dewes here, and I am deeply grateful for my family, who stepped all the way up to deliver a very special project.
I also had opportunities to travel to Chicago, Melbourne and Toronto in 2024, being a consultant/advisor, an artist-curator facilitator and a discussant for aabaakwad – a deeply inspiring gathering of indigenous artists, writers and curators designed and delivered by Wanda Nanibush. Each adventure had moments of joy; I’m so grateful for the opportunities afforded to me to expand my horizons through talanoa and knowledge co-creation.
Through ongoing and always inspiring work with Dr Sereana Naepi, I’ve been able to contribute to a special project called UN/SEEN with artist and designer, Marc Conaco. The project enabled the opportunity for us to present at the International Indigenous Research Conference in Tāmaki Makaurau in November, and Marc and I are excited to present in February 2025 at WERO: Working to End Racial Oppression International Conference.
Vunilagi Vou has been operational as a creative studio in 2024. To be able to make, experiment, express grief and write, has been vital in a year that was pickled in sadness. Making salusalu (Fijian garlands) has bought me a lot of joy, and relief. Seeing this big order for Tātaki Auckland Unlimited being worn at the Auckland Pacific Economic Insights Series event in October was lovely.
Gratitude also for artist and entrepreneur Czarina Wilson, who has continued to offer Vunilagi Vou the opportunity to pop-up at her space Celebrate Aotearoa in Glen Innes, East Auckland. With now three consecutive declined funding applications from Creative New Zealand in 2023/24, every opportunity to generate revenue is important and highly valued. The last decline was perhaps the roughest one to stomach in my career in the creative arts; artist and writer Natasha Matila-Smith sums up some very familiar emotions about funding rejections here.
So, with an exciting commission currently in the works, and a special opportunity to re-stage Vunilagi Vou circa 2019 for a short film project in January, I’m moving softly into 2025. Grief is ever-present, revealing new depths of being, knowing, loving and longing. A creative life is both an opportunity to soothe the pain of grieving and a heightened state of feeling the accumulative depths of grief and love that fortify our lives.
Rest in Love and Power Efeso, Yolande, Reina and Sam.
